Life is a paradox which can very clearly and concisely be explained by detachment. Only on relinquishing the desire to have something you can truly achieve it. Detachment is to keep the idea of an exact outcome away from you. Rather, surrender to the process and enjoy all the phases deeply. A more accurate term would be non-attachment. The purpose is to let go of our control and clinginess which dictates exactly how everything should be. It brings liberation and peace to the mind. Detachment has three forms, namely, physical withdrawal, mental withdrawal and withdrawal from the root of suffering. It is important to learn how to practice detachment correctly as there are many myths attached to it.
What is Detachment
According to the Oxford Dictionary, the state of being objective or aloof is defined as detachment. Even though being objective is a powerful tool, being aloof will defeat the purpose of practicing detachment.
When you learn how to practice detachment, you will find that detachment not only allows but encourages deep involvement because there is no attachment to the outcome. That is the true answer to how to practice detachment and not be trapped in a continuous state of desire.
Disconnecting or detaching yourself on an emotional level can turn out to be difficult. Breaking the cycle of an emotional connection is tricky since you have developed a bond. On learning how to practice emotional detachment you will be able to deal with the object or person by keeping your emotions aside.
The following points can be followed to find out how to practice emotional detachment:
- Find a good and solid reason why you want emotional detachment.
- Move forward gradually. Take small steps. Don’t try to take everything in a single stride.
- Keep yourself occupied. Invest in your skills and get better.
- Don’t let anyone come very close to you unless it is somebody you can trust blindly.
- Be focused on the future, forgive and move on.
Detachment in Marriage
Detachment in a marriage does not have to mean that you stop caring about your partner. It does not have to be dishonoring, unloving or disrespectful. All that is required is to put a little space between you and your emotions. This will also give your partner more room to be their true selves. How to practice detachment in marriage might be the question that saves your relationship and even makes it better.
The following are some tips on how to practice detachment in marriage:
- Know that you are not the reason for your partner’s frustration, sadness, poor choices or failure.
- Don’t engage in a conversation with your partner if he/she is being irrational, hostile or disrespectful.
- Tell yourself that protecting yourself from somebody who knowingly or unknowingly hurts you is not selfish. It is okay to love somebody and still protect yourself from them.
- Focus on yourself, build the life and career you wanted.
Spiritual detachment can be defined as a process that gives us freedom from everything that interferes with your spiritual growth. The idea is to remember that everything is temporary and to not cling to anything. Contrary to popular belief, spiritual detachment is about completely embracing an experience.
The following tips are helpful while detaching spiritually:
- Before taking any action, pause, breathe and meditate to handle the situation.
- Don’t focus on the outcome, rather focus on the journey.
- Stop depending on outside factors for your happiness.
- Take a step back and observe everything from somebody else’s point of view. Learn to be an observer.
- Your necessities are different from your desires. Don’t confuse both of them. This will establish the boundary between your necessities and desires.
Emotional Detachment from a Narcissist
Once you have realized that you are dealing with a narcissist, distancing yourself from him/her either physically or emotionally is the smartest move. In such a situation it is usually easier to distance yourself physically rather than staying around the person. But for scenarios in which distancing yourself physically is not an option, how to emotionally detach from a narcissist becomes an important question to ask.
- The first step of how to emotionally detach from a narcissist is to focus on understanding yourself, rather than understanding his/her narcissism.
- Let go of the need or attempt of trying to fix them.
- Refrain from victimizing yourself. This will never empower you.
- Rise above the need for closure or the need to please them.
Detachment psychology benefits you by energizing and replenishing you in your downtime. Instead of a disconnect, it is more of a realization. We all need this recovery time to avoid burn out in our personal, professional or spiritual lives. Learning to protect yourself by working on your mental and physical health, growth and happiness is the best gift you can give yourself.