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"Inhibited Desire & Pleasure"
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When I answered the phone, the lady said, “The only reason I'm taking your classes is so I can tell myself I've done everything I can to save my marriage before I divorce my husband.”
She continued, “My husband is so bitter against me that he resents every mouth full of food I eat because he has to pay for it. I overheard him telling our daughter, 'Now that you're getting married, your mom and I might as well get a divorce because we have nothing holding us together.'”
“So I'm going to take your classes, and then I'm going to divorce him.”
On that ominous note, Ruby began taking my first marriage classes.
After a few weeks, I assigned the class to greet their husbands at the door and report back.
The next week, one student said she had always wanted to run and jump into her husband's arms when he came home, but lacked the nerve. She decided to risk it. She described her husband's look of shock, then amazement, then delight as he lifted her off the floor.
Another woman reported how she had watched for her traveling salesman husband to drive up, then greeted him at the door with a warm embrace and a cold drink. On Monday, as he was leaving for another trip, he told her he was dreading going back to the cold motel rooms in the evenings without her there to welcome him. The following week, her husband brought her roses when he returned home--first time ever in their marriage.
When Ruby's turn came, she told how five years earlier she had deliberately quit kissing her husband “hello” when he came home from work because he quit kissing her “good-bye” when he went to work. Trying to teach him that lesson had sent their relationship from bad to worse.
That time to try the assignment, she stood by the door ready to greet her husband. When he opened the door, to her horror, the dogs ran in. By the time she got them back out, her husband was in the kitchen getting a snack. She went over and kissed him on the cheek. He grumbled, “Huh, what do you want?” Of course, he was suspicious. Everyone knows women are only affectionate when they want something, and it had been five years since she welcomed him home. Ruby ignored his grouchiness and went on her way without getting into an argument.
The next week she added to her greetings a trip through the living room where he always sat in the evenings watching television. As she went by his chair, she kissed him on the cheek. Again, he questioned her, “Huh, what do you want?”
The third week of greeting her husband, she decided to meet him at his car. They lived in the country, so she watched for him coming down the road. Then she ran to the gate and opened it for him to drive through. This time he said, “Hey, that's some welcome home!” He was never the same after that, and neither was she.
The next week Ruby came to class exclaiming, “You won't believe what my husband did! He actually turned off the TV and we talked--we talked for hours. We haven't talked in years!”
She regaled us the following week telling how he had helped her work in the garden. Then when she got a headache, he told her to go lay down. A little bit later, her husband came through to check on her and covered her up with a blanket. She exclaimed, "My husband has never done that!"
A couple of weeks later, she could hardly sit still, “You won't believe my husband! This morning over breakfast, he handed me his bonus check for $350 and said, `I've been spending a lot of money on myself lately. I want you to take this money and buy yourself some new clothes.'” This was the husband who 8 weeks earlier resented every mouth full of food she ate.
Perhaps rather than trying to teach each other lessons by withholding affection, couples would get better results by trying to be the first to display love. Little acts of love really do make big differences.
Rights Notice
These electronically-transmitted pages are copyrighted © 2009 and belong to Patsy Rae Dawson. All rights reserved. You are free to download this electronic material for personal use, to make copies to share with others, or to mirror on your local web site, with the following restrictions:
- The material must remain intact and unmodified from the form supplied here, including header and footer and their graphics, copyright notice, the URL and postal addresses.
- You may not charge for this material. If you have any questions about using this material, please contact the publisher at gtp@gospelthemes.com.
Copyright
"Little Acts of Love Make Big Differences" is adapted from the book Marriage: A Taste of Heaven, Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers, copyright © 1986, 1996 by Patsy Rae Dawson. Used by permission.
Publisher
Gospel Themes Press
2028 South Austin Street Suite 906
Amarillo, TX 79109-1960 USA
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