Home  |  Love Quiz  |  Song of Solomon FAQ  |  Spouse Abuse FAQ  |  Adultery & Sexual Addiction  |  Purchase  |  Cart / Checkout  Hell  |  Last Things & Eschatology FAQ  |  Resurrection--I Cor. 15 |  Books  |  Booklets  |  Audio  |  Free!    Slaps, punches, ugly names Spouse abuse in the name of the Lord Patsy Rae Dawson The counselor at the second largest women's shelter in the United States said, “Even men who aren't Christians use the Bible to justify their abuse.” She continued, “But men claiming to be Christians can be the most violent of all. We keep secret the location for our shelter for Christian women, because their husbands are so dangerous. They claim God gives them the authority to beat their wives.” Copyright © 2010 by Patsy Rae Dawson See Rights Notice below. Click here to read about this series--13 hours of classes including "How to Fight Fair and Face Anger." You're a desperate spouse if you're bitter you feel like you're losing it you feel like you're drowning you either cry all the time or can no longer cry you live with ridicule you think you're going crazy you're fighting for emotional survival you're told you're stupid you work harder at your marriage than your friends do you walk on eggshells around your mate you think God has abandoned you you think everything is your fault you contemplate suicide you're overpowered by your mate's anger you're obsessing about how to please your mate you're paralyzed by codependence your children live with these same emotions Challenges in Marriage will help you break the cycle of misery in your home Order the Challenges in Marriage Special and save 13% FREE SHIPPING! on all orders $35 or more Your satisfaction is our guarantee! Click here for more information about this CDA single. $5.95 Add to Shopping Cart Save! Mix & Match CDs Click here to read Patsy's column "Why Are We Becoming a Nation of Verbal Abusers?" We decry the abuse of women in third world countries all in the name of religion. Yet the same degradation of women goes on in this country among many Christians, who physically, verbally, and financially abuse their wives. So I wouldn't be naïve when women talked to me about abuse, I went through training at the Women's Shelter in Tacoma, Washington, one of the largest shelters in the US. The counselor said, "Even men who aren't Christians use the Bible to justify their abuse." She continued, "But men claiming to be Christians can be the most violent of all. We keep secret the location for our shelter for Christian women, because their husbands are so dangerous. They claim God gives them the authority to beat their wives." Christians leaders often condone abuse A Christian woman gave me the minutes of a men's leadership meeting, also referred to as "secret counsel meetings of the men," where they discussed her plea for them to discipline her abusive husband. Because of their mistreatment of their own wives, these men declined to censor their brother. They said: "If my wife is out of control, then I can treat her as a child and spank her." "If your wife is sinning, you can discipline any way you decide is necessary, including beating." "A man is to rule his household, and if he decides it is necessary to beat his wife, he has the authority to do so." "I can knock my wife out, if it would save her soul." While they appealed to God to defend their despicable behavior, these church leaders misquoted their proof text, which says, “that a man know how to rule his house.” Ruling a house with slaps, kicks, punches, ugly names, and temper tantrums that would embarrass an alligator, is totally different than knowing how to rule a house. God expects true leaders to earn respect and honor from their families, instead of instilling fear and servitude. Many religions teach spouse abuse Many denominations openly teach their men to use authoritarian-style dominion over their wives. If a woman dares to bring up a Bible verse such as the command for husbands to love their wives as their own bodies, she is quickly labeled a “Jezebel.” Her questions and pleas for humane treatment are ignored while she is shunned. Some churches teach their women that if the husband gets too bad, God will strike him dead like he did Nabal. Others try to appease the wives with, “He'll answer for his decisions and treatment of you in the judgment. Your duty is to obey without question, even if he beats you.” God doesn't hear the prayers of abusers While many of these abusing husbands assume God gave them the right to assault their wives, such treachery ridicules God's love for women. He warned in I Peter 3:7: You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow-heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Is it any wonder that lots of churches are dying when the prayers of their men do not reach any higher than the ceiling because of what goes on behind closed doors in their homes? What a mockery to God when these men are allowed to lead prayers, offer communion, lead singing, teach classes, serve as elders or deacons, and even preach sermons trying to tell others how to love God and their fellowman! While many churches shamefully excuse spouse abuse, others require these husbands to get anger-control counseling. Peer pressure is one of the most effective ways of stopping domestic violence against women. What can a wife do? Sadly, many churches are letting down wives by not applying God-designed discipline to wayward husbands. These wives need to remember that the same God who created the man to be the head of the home also ordained civil governments to punish evildoers. It is just as righteous for an abused wife to call the police and file assault charges against her husband as it is for her to partake of the Lord's Supper. When churches refuse to condemn spouse abuse, then perhaps the handcuff cure will get the attention of both abusers and church leaders. The longer abuse continues, the more dangerous it becomes. A woman can call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 to get help reviewing her circumstances and in protecting her safety. Spouse abuse in the name of the Lord is vile blasphemy against God. Heaven forbid that any wife should think that she must submit to abuse as her duty to God and her cross to bear for Jesus. Instead, as Paul admonished, let her expose her shameful husband for what he is--disobedient to God's word--by telling the church, and if they refuse to apply peer pressure, by calling the police. Rights Notice These electronically-transmitted pages are copyrighted © 2010 and belong to Patsy Rae Dawson. All rights reserved. You are free to download this electronic material for personal use, to make copies to share with others, or to mirror on your local web site, with the following restrictions: The material must remain intact and unmodified from the form supplied here, including header and footer and their graphics, copyright notice and the URL. You may not charge for this material. If you have any questions about using this material, please contact the author at patsy@patsyraedawson.com. Would you like to learn more about Patsy Rae Dawson's publications? Visit our Bookstore and Free Online Materials. Return to Top Save 13% Patsy Rae Dawson's Marriage & Lovemaking Specials Transforming Lives with the Power of the Scriptures--Romans 12:2 Save 13% on Song of Solomon Audio Lessons plus 2 Marriage: A Taste of Heaven books Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Vol. I: God's People Appreciate Marriage Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers Song of Solomon: God's Sex Education audio album Click on your audio choice below to add it and the two marriage books to your shopping cart: MP3 + 2 books for $47.80 (a $54.95 value--save $7.15) CD audio + 2 books for $65.10 (a $74.85 value--save $9.75) Save 13% on Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Audio Lessons plus 2 Marriage: A Taste of Heaven books Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Book I Vol. I: God's People Appreciate Marriage Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Book II Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Audio Album Vol. I: God's People Appreciate Marriage Click on your audio choice below to add it and the two marriage books to your shopping cart: MP3 + 2 books for $47.80 (a $54.95 value--save $7.15) CD audio + 2 books for $65.10 (a $74.85 value--save $9.75) Save 13% on Challenges in Marriage Audio Lessons plus 2 Marriage: A Taste of Heaven books Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Vol. I: God's People Appreciate Marriage Marriage: A Taste of Heaven Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers Challenges in Marriage Audio Album What to Do When Sin Inhibits Love Click on your audio choice below to add it and the two marriage books to your shopping cart: MP3 + 2 books for $47.80 (a $54.95 value--save $7.15) CD audio + 2 books for $65.10 (a $74.85 value--save $9.75) Save 13% on ALL 5 of Patsy Rae Dawson's materials Get all 3 audio lessons plus 2 books Click on your audio choice below to add it and the two marriage books to your shopping cart: 3 MP3s + 2 books for $77.21 (a $88.75 value--save $11.54) 3 CDA Albums + 2 books for $129.41 (a $148.75 value--save $19.34) FREE Marriage and Lovemaking Booklets and Chapters by Patsy Rae Dawson Male and Female: God's Genius! A tremendous amount of evidence surfaced in recent years to prove God's genius in designing the male's and the female's bodies and minds and the way they work together. Why God's People Make the Best Lovers: Surveys prove that practicing God's rules for lovemaking liberates both the man and the woman for total rapture in the arms of the mate. Adultery & Sexual Addiction: A Plan for Healing the Soul and the Marriage: Sexual sin is rapidly becoming the number-one marriage problem facing Christians, but God offers a 3-part formula for overcoming it. Safe Sex: What They Don't Tell You: Since public schools leave God out of sex education, the subject is approached from the viewpoint of a person who just wants to have fun without consideration of God's laws. The Victims of Victorian Morals: Chapter 3 in Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers shows how Victorian morals continue to victimize sexual love and to cheat countless couples out of the truly happy relationship God desires. 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